Tell Us a Gag. Please!

[Shamal]

Apparently the sisters at the local convent here in Waterlooville are furious.

It seems that their central heating is on the fritz and it is very very warm there.

What you might call hot,cross nuns.

?

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Whenever my Uncle Bob gets angry,  he plays his bongos in the loft until he calms down. 

It's all a little drum attic if you ask me.  

 

[Skullchewer]

What bear is the most condescending?

A Pan-duh

 

[Shamal]

What bear is the most condescending?

A Pan-duh

That's actually quite good ?

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

I hear that Yoko Ono has a daughter who sells Japanese dresses.

Kim...

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Someone has glued my pack of playing cards together! 

I don't know how to deal with it. 

 

[Shamal]

 My Aunt Marge has been ill for so long we've decided to change her name to "I Can't Believe She's Not Better"?

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Nicola Sturgeon is apparently being spoken to by the police about leaving the house without a mask.

I  know she's no oil painting but I think it's a bit harsh. 

 

[Shamal]

Nicola Sturgeon is apparently being spoken to about leaving the house without a mask.

I  know she's no oil painting but I think it's a bit harsh. 

I think I would insist on mask,paper bag and another paper bag in case the first one splits.

 

[Shamal]

Two for the price of one?

The only idea that flat earthers fear...

...is sphere itself. ?

If I break the laws of geometry,do I go to prism....?

 

[John_W]

View attachment 88906

 

[Shamal]

I'm really pleased with my new vegetable patch.

I haven't had the desire to eat a vegetable in weeks. ?

 

[Skullchewer]

I'm really pleased with my new vegetable patch.

I haven't had the desire to eat a vegetable in weeks. ?

View attachment 88935

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

You don't need patches.  Take me for example.  I've given up smoking loads of times.  

 

[Guest]

There once was a child called Adam

Whose intelligence rated not very much

He got very upset, when I wouldn’t sell him a toy.

The  end

 

[Tackle]

There once was a child called Adam

Whose intelligence rated not very much

He got very upset, when I wouldn’t sell him a toy.

The  end

There's more to this gag ? 

Probably warrants a thread of its own ?

Do tell ?

 

[Guest]

There's more to this gag ? 

Probably warrants a thread of its own ?

Do tell ?

There might be, but I’m not getting any further involved.

You know if I had anything for sale it would be in the classifieds of course ?

 

[Cannonfodder]

View attachment 88943

 

[Tackle]

View attachment 88943

Loving the bog roll, typical russki hi-tech set up ?

 

[Cannonfodder]

At primary school I got in trouble for pissing in the class rubbish bin. 

It's a shame as I had a great teaching career ahead of me