Tell Us a Gag. Please!

[Tackle]

Aah stop it you old romantic you.lol

Was that the summer of 87

LOL, no, October, the "great storm", fuck all great about it though ?

 

[Shamal]

How many stupid people does it take to change a light bulb?

Five.

One to stand on the stool and hold the bulb, the other four to turn the stool round.

I went to give blood the other day. 
I'm not fricking doing it again. Just too many questions.
Where did you get it from?
Whose is it?
Why is it in a bucket?


 

I think I posted the second gag a year ago. Still funny though ?

LOL, no, October, the "great storm", fuck all great about it though ?

Haha. Sounds like a story behind that ?

 

[Skullchewer]

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark.

I was walking home with my wife when we saw my mother in law being attacked by 6 men.
"Aren't you going to help?!" asked my concerned wife.
"Six ought to be enough" I replied.

 

[Shamal]

I changed a light bulb on my own yesterday it was easy.

I kept the receipt so no problem...?

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

How many psychoanalytic therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to enthusiastically screw the bulb, one to firmly grasp the penis, sorry, I meant ladder....

 

[sonofsammo]

How many psychoanalytic therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to enthusiastically screw the bulb, one to firmly grasp the penis, sorry, I meant ladder....

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb.
One, but the lightbulb has to really want to change...

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

What do psychoanalysts wear around the house? 

Freudian slippers...   

 

[Shamal]

This is really what the mind is all about. How we process information.

What goes up down but not down up?

All the relevant information is there.?

Regards

 

[sonofsammo]

How many cognitive behavioural therapy practitioners does it take to change a lightbulb?

Somewhere between 1 and 10.

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

This is really what the mind is all about. How we process information.

What goes up down but not down up?

All the relevant information is there.?

Regards

A Freudian slip is actually when you say one thing, but mean your mother. 

 

[Shamal]

A Freudian slip is actually when you say one thing, but mean your mother. 

Yes I know that.,?

 

[Jedi_Master]

How many cognitive behavioural therapy practitioners does it take to change a lightbulb?

Somewhere between 1 and 10.

Only one, whilst the remainder just bullshit about non-sensical stuff and charge too much for it.

 

[Shamal]

At the local zoo, I spotted one cage with just a ham roll in it.  Slightly confused, I asked the zoo keeper if this was deliberate. They told me it was and that it was bread in captivity.

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Just lost my job as a massage therapist. 

My boss said I rubbed people up the wrong way.   

 

[Guest]

I was going to make a joke about sales posts and users with numbers at the end of their names, but decided on discretion ??

 

[Shamal]

I was going to make a joke about sales posts and users with numbers at the end of their names, but decided on discretion ??

Haha. 

C'mon let's hear it ?

Regards

 

[Guest]

Haha. 

C'mon let's hear it ?

Regards

two more independent votes

 

[AirsoftTed]

Two tampons are walking down the street. Which one of them says hello to you first?

Neither, they're both stuck up c**ts!

 

[Shamal]

I was just viewing a woman's profile on a dating website,
'Blonde 33 Great Personality 5ft  3 Green Eyes.'
Don't get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against short women, but, 3 green eyes?
No wonder she's single! ?

 

[TheAkimboSteak]

Saw my next door neighbour over the fence she told me that she was having a problem, someone has been stealing clothes off her washing line

I nearly sh1t her pants...