Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
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'There's someone for everyone,' my mother always said patting my head.
'Yours is a psychiatrist.'
'Yours is a psychiatrist.'
Tell Us a Gag. Please!
- Thread starter Shamal
- Start date
Cannonfodder
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- Aug 10, 2020
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Just got back from the opticians and it turns out I'm colour blind.
That news came right out of the purple
That news came right out of the purple
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
- 2,719
I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship, but I bottled it.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
- 2,719
What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?
One of them Is an Australian mammal. The other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.
One of them Is an Australian mammal. The other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
- 2,719
I got a massive erection today during a routine prostate examination. I tried to hide it but it was pretty obvious, so I tried to laugh it of instead.
Anyway, long story short, I'm no longer working as a GP.
Anyway, long story short, I'm no longer working as a GP.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
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It’s a 4 minute walk from my house to the bar.
It’s a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering!
It’s a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering!
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
- 2,719
My dentist has been struck off the medical register for dealing in drugs!
Fuck me, I've been using him for the last sixteen years and never knew he was a dentist!
Fuck me, I've been using him for the last sixteen years and never knew he was a dentist!
Cannonfodder
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- Aug 10, 2020
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Say what you like about getting old, but it does make multitasking easier
I can sneeze, piss and shit myself all at the same time
I can sneeze, piss and shit myself all at the same time
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
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If you learn to dribble at the same time you've reached master level!
Me: "Can I borrow the new book about Cockney swear words?"
Librarian: "You can't".
Me: "Yes, that's the one"...
Cannonfodder
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- Aug 10, 2020
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Why are all working tickle me Elmo dolls male?
Before leaving the factory they get test tickles
Before leaving the factory they get test tickles
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
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Jesus wept!!!
Uncle Bob went on a roller coaster, and the woman next to him wouldn't stop screaming.
Seriously, it was like she'd never seen a penis before...
Cannonfodder
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- Aug 10, 2020
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I pulled last night and afterwards she cuddled up to me and said you're the biggest I've ever had
Apparently ditto was the wrong answer
Apparently ditto was the wrong answer
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
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Pretty pleased with myself.
I just passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas...
I just passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas...
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
- 2,719
I used to be a DJ at Stonehenge and Avebury but...
I no longer mix in those circles.
I no longer mix in those circles.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,111
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Jokes about white sugar are very common.
Jokes about brown sugar? Demerara.
Jokes about brown sugar? Demerara.
Cannonfodder
Members
- Aug 10, 2020
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My Mrs doesn't like that the 25 year old blonde next door keeps sunbathing topless
Personally I'm on the fence
Personally I'm on the fence
- Oct 7, 2017
- 6,379
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Lol, im laughing because this was a situation in my last place in London, 2 hot blonde sisters, both flight attendants, always sunbathing in the summer, or washing their cars in bikinis........
You can imagine the wives in the street
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